I been pondering, thinking, emoing, regretting alot alot since our seperation in Jan 09. Been 6months since we parted and memories still came pouring back bits by bits... When I used to have her, I failed to treasure her. Now since she already move on, why cant I do tat? I guess I already figured out why.. Cos She my first ever true love... First gal tat i really love alot.. and also hurt the deepest.
Since she happy now in a new rs, what there for me to hold onto? I should learn to let go a few months back.. However, I fail to do so.. There something in me that tell me tat I still have hope, still have a chance.. But the day when she text me, I know I just lyin to myself.. I never ever choose to accept the reality. I choose to avoid & it not doing me any good.. I am never happy this way... Thinking back, at least we are in love with each other b4 and I guess that is enough for both of us..
Starting another rs when I have not let go of my past rs is also another incident tat i regret.. When ppl told me tat de best medicine to cure a fail rs is to start a new one, I thought it sound kinda true to me.. But it proven tat it does not work for me, instead I hurt one more ppl.. I just dun know why i sure a failure in rs? Maybe I dun know how to fall in love again? But one thing I am sure is tat I not going to repeat my past mistakes again. Never EVER...
GG alway ask me why I cant just let go of everything and start life afresh again.. I alway told him cos she is wat I want in my life.. However, I have already come to terms tat we are no longer possible... There are things in life where there is no chance of turning back. I have already decided tat I wanta lead a brand new life again. I dun wanta be emoing bout my memories or the mistakes I make again. I should be lookin ahead instead of lookin back again... Letting go might also be a blessing in disguise. =) Thanks for the memories.
Today will be the start of my new chapter. I definitely hope I can be able to do tat.. Took 6 months to come to terms with everything. I hope I not too late... it never late to change right? With support from everyone of you, I know I can move on.
AND I REALLY MEAN MOVING ON !
The 'NEW' Dave.
THE END
OF
050605
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