-special one-

I am back home and had a sudden urge to blog bout how i feel today. =( Ppl that dun know me well will be saying how happy i should be right? When i managed to get promoted and also pass my IPPT in my first attempt. But is tat how i am really feeling? Am i really happy? Am i really excited? I DOUBT SO.. I not feeling at all happy today..

When i heard the news of my promotion, of course i was smiling 'inside' my heart. But came to think of it.. It was just a promotion. I used to make a fuss out of a promotion cause those were the days that i am still attached with her. A promotion meant an increase in pay and that would mean a celebration and big feast out with her. JUST THE TWO OF US. NOBODY ELSE. Wat bout now? I have two good news and i should be celebrating happily and crazily right? BUY WITH WHO? WHO THE SPECIAL ONE ? NOPE. NOBODY this time round. I AM ON MY OWN. I accepted the fact already. BUT I JUST CANT HELP FEELING like this the whole day.
Happy yesterday, EMO today? How short-lived.... =( All the memories came pouring back again.. I HATE IT.. I HATE BEING EMO.. I HATE BEING SAD. I HATE BEING REMORSEFUL. But do i have a choice to choose my mood and feelings everyday? I cant right!

In the past, i would be dam dam happy and ecstatic now. Smiling radiantly 'inside' and 'outside'. As happy as a swan. Celebrating with my 'special' one. Enjoying ourselves outside.......

WAKE UP ZM! it aint/wont/not going to happen!